Conspiracy Theories, Ranked
A definitive ranking of conspiracy theories...or is that just what they want you to think?
20) Pitbull and Shakira are involved with the disappearance of MH370.
19) Obama did ____. (Benghazi, Ebola, 9/11, etc. etc. etc.)
18) The moon landing was faked.
17) Anything that comes out of Jenny McCarthy's mouth.
15) The internet is full of paid government shills.
13) The National Weather Service can create thunderstorms using energy pulses emitted from Doppler weather radar.
12) The military uses H.A.A.R.P. to control the weather.
11) Dennis Mersereau is not a real person, but rather a fake personality created by sophisticated government trolling software in order to disrupt political discourse on DailyKos and to coordinate the "gawkering" of people via secret Facebook groups.
10) 9/11 truthers.
9) The Illuminati.*
8) Obama ordered the government to conduct the shootings at Sandy Hook in order to take everyone's guns.
7) Your parents insisting that anything wrong with their computer is your fault because you used it to check your email that one time.
6) Vinegar sprayed from a household spray bottle can ascend 30,000 feet in seconds in order to break apart "chemtrails."
4) Even though the American government—supposedly the most powerful in the world—can hardly function on its own, there is a global, clandestine government that controls the intricate workings of every major world event and still manages to keep itself under wraps.
3) Any argument against gay marriage.
1) The U.S. military bombed the Atlantic Ocean in order to flood New York City during Hurricane Sandy.
[*As a dues-paying member of the Illuminati, I can confirm with 100% certainty that it does not exist.]
