There’s going to be a blue moon on Friday. The moon will do nothing new or exciting, but your Facebook feed will drown in moon drama anyway. Anything’s better than Minion memes, I suppose.

Behold! The Earth will rockblock the Moon from basking in sunshine for five minutes tonight. The islands in the Pacific will have the best view of the brief Earth Moon Shadow, but most of North America will see it, too, if you crawl out of bed early enough, but it's Saturday morning, and you won't do that.

There will be a partial solar eclipse this evening. You will want to look at it. Do not look at it.

The Earth will make a shadow on the moon tonight. You will wake up early to watch it.

Forget everything you hear and read about today's astronomical significance, as today is not the first day of fall. Today marks the autumnal equinox. Fall began three weeks ago, and any other opinion is wrong.

BEHOLD THE SECOND COMING OF SUPERMOON. BOW TO ITS EMINENCE, FOR WE HAVE NEVER SEEN THE MOON THIS BIG.