Welcome to April! The next month looks like it'll be interesting, with warmer-than-average temperatures for much of the country, except the Northeast, where winter clings like tangy marinara to a plate of cold pasta. Sorry. This is no joke, either—we don't play those games. Nature really does just hate you.

It was downright gorgeous across the United States and Canada earlier this week. Dozens of towns from Texas to Saskatchewan set record highs during the brief warm-up. Unfortunately, March's gotta act like March, and we've slumped back into that weird winter pattern of a warm west and cool east.