The sign-toting human embodiment of talk radio will stage a protest of the National Weather Service on October 8 because they’ve run out of new things to hate. They’re also somehow tying gays into the protest, of course, because everyone knows we secretly control the weather. (Why else would chemtrails be so neatly arranged in the sky? Duh!)

“NOTE to weather reporting rebels,” exclaims a statement issued by the small clique of comically-insecure Kansans, “nothing happens in this earth without the direct command of God.” Nor without the direct input of meteorologists, apparently, as they’re targeting one of the country’s main bases for weather knowledge. The National Weather Center at the University of Oklahoma in Norman houses numerous university, state, and federal offices, including those of the Storm Prediction Center and Oklahoma City’s branch of the National Weather Service.

Continued the doofuses:

Westboro Baptist Church will picket the National Weather Service to remind them that ONLY by God’s mercy and power do you gather intelligence on His weather. The day comes when all weather rules, as you know them, will be gone. America crossed the Rubicon when, by force of law, you permitted same-sex marriage.

I mean, they’re kinda right if you consider that, when it’s really really important for them to work, half of the weather models we use already seem to ignore all weather rules as we know them.

Also, gays! Just because.

They went on to state on their Twitter account (how hip!) that the National Weather Service is “stealing God’s glory and giving it to another,” which—as if it wasn’t blasphemous enough—is probably against ethics regulations that restrict gift-giving by federal employees.

The Westboro Baptist “Church” seems to think that meteorologists are usurping God’s authority by using satellite and Doppler radar to predict the future. And yet, somehow!, that line slightly less crazy than the people who think that the government actually uses the microwave radiation from Doppler weather radars to control the formation of thunderstorms. (Yes, that conspiracy is a thing.)

Protesting meteorologists for predicting the future is deliciously rich when you realize how much these clowns predict the future with some regularity, which means they are stealing some of that glory themselves. I’ll save you a seat in hell, y’all! 👋

These folks have devolved into a parody of themselves. The only outrage they deserve anymore is outrage over what they’re forcing the innocent children in their family to say and do—as for the antics themselves, only a deep, booming laugh (or faint pang of pity) will do.

If you happen to be in Norman on October 8, go give ‘em the Nelson Muntz treatment if you have a few minutes to waste.

[Image: Associated Press]


Email: dennis.mersereau@gawker.com | Twitter: @wxdam

My new book, The Extreme Weather Survival Manual, comes out tomorrow! You can pre-order it now from Amazon.