Boston Plans to Dump Snow in Harbor to Protest Oppressive Canadian Rule
There's so much snow on the ground in Boston that they've run out of places to put it and resources to melt it, so the city plans to do what good citizens have always done in a time of crisis: they're dumping it in the damn harbor. God bless America.
The past month's back-to-back(-to-back-to-back) winter storms have left parts of New England buried under record-breaking amounts of snow; the airport in Bangor, Maine, tied its all-time record snow depth this morning, measuring 53 inches of snow on the ground with another six inches possible during today's storm. Other parts of the region aren't faring much better, with the latest snow depth analysis from the NOHRSC (above) indicating an average of 40 to 50 inches of snow on the ground across much of eastern Massachusetts, southern New Hampshire, and coastal Maine.
Boston could see up to two feet of snow from today's storm, cementing this winter's place in the city's record books as the snowiest 30-day period on record at Logan Airport. The previous record was 58.8" of snow over 30 days ending on February 7, 1978. The new record will exceed 60 inches over the 30-day period ending tomorrow.
The glacial mountains of snow left behind by this past month's storms are causing some major problems for municipalities. You can only pile up so much snow on street corners and in parking lots before it becomes a safety hazard. The Boston Globe reports that the amount of snow they've removed exceeds the ability of snow melting machines to turn the white doom back to its liquid state. Since they can't melt it and they can't pile it up anymore, towns across the region are looking to dump the snow in the ocean as a last-ditch attempt to rid themselves of this horrid winter. The Globe's report mentions that this solution is saved for extreme measures, as all of the salt and other chemicals scooped up by snow plows will pollute the Harbor and area waterways (more than they already are, of course).
Nevertheless, they need to get rid of the snow somehow, and chucking it overboard will seem like the best option once this week is through. The weather models are pumping out yet another nor'easter next weekend, producing more heavy snow over the usual areas. After that, wouldn't you know it?, there's going to be that small issue of a major cold snap that rivals temperatures seen in last year's polarvortexmageddon. Starting on Thursday night, temperatures in Boston likely won't climb out of the teens until Tuesday, with lows hovering a few degrees on either side of zero for the duration.
To whatever evil child out there is wishing this on millions of people just to get a few snow days, please stop wearing your pajamas inside-out. Thank you.
[Images: AP, NOHRSC, MODIS Today]
